I Guess I'm Growing Up

My husband and I had an argument in the drive-thru at Chick-fil-A. Now, I know what you're thinking. What is there to argue about when there's Chick-fil-A chicken? Not to mention the banana pudding milkshakes? I know! I agree. However, it happened.

I'm not going to tell you what we were arguing about, because it was stupid. The way we handled it, however, and the argument whiplash are what I am going to share.

So, if you have been married any period of time, you know that it is work! Really. Forget Ward and June Cleaver. Marriages in 2012 have so many dynamics and factors that you often feel like you are trapped in a vortex. It can be challenging. Early on, my husband and I could dig our heels in about disagreements and not speak for days. There would be tears, raised voices, "whatevers" thrown around like grenades, ultimatums tossed down like the duel-challenging white glove, and other asinine things that young 20-something year olds who are newly married do when they are "fighting."  It was brutal...and emotionally exhausting. That's how the stupid arguments played out in the first 5 years.

So, when the Chick-fil-A spat played out, I was pleasantly surprised that the whiplash was so short-lived. We drove home in silence, but once we got to the apartment, I put the 5 year old in her room and I approached my husband about what went down in the drive-thru. I made "I" statements and spoke about how it made me feel. He explained himself and his statements, apologized for how I felt, but still held his ground about his opinion. Fine. I let that go. I stated, "We just agree to disagree on how the situation was handled. Thank you for apologizing for how your words upset me."  That was it. Done. We sat down and watched a movie, and the day unfolded beautifully from there.

It wasn't until the next morning that I began to reflect on that moment. I don't know when it happened, but it did. We had grown up. All the minutae we used to spend so much time and energy fussing over finally just dimmed. We now see the big picture. We see each other with an assumption of good faith, not with a scrutinizing side eye. Next month, my husband and I will celebrate our 13th wedding anniversary. For superstitious people, that might make them feel nervous. We aren't superstitious at all. I'm excited about my 13th anniversary, because there was a point in time when I doubted that we would make it to 13. But here we are. Not all grown up, but well on our way.

'Til death do us part? Yes. I think that's what it will take.